Saturday Frustration!

Hi All,

Please forgive this post in advance.  It's not uplifting. It's not inspiring.  It's real!

I wanted forced myself tried  to create an uplifting, useful post for today.  I wanted to write about all the great things that happened last week but the more I tried the worse the post sounded.  Truth is, I had a horrible week!  I couldn't wait for it to be over.  Each day this week seemed to get worse than the day before.  This was definitely one of those weeks that I question why on earth I choose to do this!

There wasn't one catastrophe that led to my horrible week.  Instead, it was a multitude of minor things.  At many points, I was waiting for Ashton Kusher to jump out to tell me I was being Punked! I had my fair share of pukers this week (we still haven't found my trash can.)  I dealt with changing plans on the fly because lots of kiddies were out sick.  One of my darlings peed on my carpet.  I have a little one who apparently enjoys fingerpainting in the bathroom (use your imagination.)  I mean seriously, who enjoys doing that?  I'm sure my attitude this week was not helping any either.  I am completely exhausted! 

I somehow  managed (still not sure how) to get myself elected to run this big telethon for my school.  Each school in the district participates and apparently my, "let me know if I can help" comment translated to "I would LOVE to run it for our school!"  This has been more than daunting!  In fact, my principal even told me this alone is a full-time job.  It has involved coordinating with many grade levels, teachers, film crews, writing scripts, yadda, yadda, yadda.  Well the telethon is tomorrow and I CANNOT wait until it is over!

I am currently enrolled in my Master's program so I have assignments for class to deal with.  Seriously, do they think one more 10 page paper is going to make me a better educator?  I  am also coming home at night to work on all the things I didn't finish at school, plus work on products for my TpT Store.  My oldest child is graduating H.S. in June.  That alone is exhausting!  Prom gowns, limos, Senior Week rentals, graduation parties, placement tests, senior portraits.......UGH!  Most nights are spent on the computer until 11 - 12 o'clock, watching my fiance in the other room wishing I had some time for him too :(   And on top of all that, my future sister-in-law talked me into taking a Pilates class.  So I have to do all of the above without the ability to take a deep breath because my ribs hurt so bad.  Squatting down, bending, yawning, sneezing, coughing and general movement is out of the picture too!

Oh, and how could I forget.  This is actually the BEST part.  My co-workers hold a competetition at this time of year called, "The Biggest Loser."  Well I got suckered, guilted encouraged to join under the guise "it will be FUN!"  They compete against each other to lose the most weight.  Well, I can tell you with 100% certainty, my body found this extremely funny!  In fact, I've never lost a FULL pound at one time.  My body apparently has a sense of humor and likes to take weight off one-tenth at a time!  When my body was feeling particularly funny on a "weigh-in" morning, I weighed in and gained one-tenth.  I realized I hadn't peed released my coffee from the morning so I decided to run to the bathroom and weigh-in again.  YEP, you guessed it......I actually GAINED another tenth!  How is that humanly possible?!?!?  I have since decided I am going to donate my body to science.  They could learn a lot from me!

And finally, the most devestating blow.  I found out that the "great medical news" I talked about in an earlier post was actually wrong.  Since I previously had clean check-ups for a full year my doc told me we could now go every 6 months for check-ups.  I was excited and relieved that all has gone well.  Then the test results came back.  It's back.  I am seriously MAD!  I feel like I have to start all over again.  I have to make arrangements for all kinds of tests again and I really don't have any more time to squeeze out of my day.  I'm frustrated and angry!  I was ready to move on with my life, get married and live happily ever after.  Again, my body said, NOT!

I know all of this stress has affected me in the classroom.  I'm writing about this because I think it is important to "admit" that teachers DO have rough times.  It's almost unspoken in teacher circles because no one wants to appear like "the bad teacher."  Well I'm throwing it out there......I was a BAD teacher this week.  I wasn't mean to anyone.  I didn't yell at my kiddies.  But I wasn't ME.  I wasn't full of energy.  I wasn't singing with my usual tone.  I wasn't bouncing around and laughing with my kiddies.  I was a deflating balloon.  I was going through the motions.  I was surviving the week.

PLEASE tell me you've gone through this!  Tell me I'm not "losing it."  Tell me you've hit those moments.  Tell me!


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